8:41 PM 1/18/2026 Tue
Hello Duke,
You don't know me, so please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mumia Obsidian Ali, and I'm a podcaster, author and a founding father of the Black Manosphere online and the Black Manosphere Conclave, the latter of which was founded in late 2021 and is an annual gathering of Black men from around the world united in the pursuit of excellence in all things.
Late Sunday evening, Jan 18, 2026, your Instagram video, "The real reason you hate women", posted on your account on Jan 16, 2026, was brought to my attention, and after carefully reviewing it several times, thought that it merited a response. To that end, I present back your words to you in transcript form below:
"Let's just call the spade a spade. Let's just do it, man. Whatever. If you're a man and all your content is about downing women, being in opposition to women, contradicting things women say, responding to things that women say in a negative way, if your whole identity and brand is all about being anti-women, let's have a conversation right now. Because you are a man who was once a boy that was just overlooked by girls. Let's just call it what it is.That's what it is. That's where everything stems from. Because some of the stuff you say may be accurate, but let's get to the root. The root is that when you were a kid, girls didn't like you. And you built up resentment over the years. And now that you're a full-blown adult, it's still with you. And so now you're trying to get your get back. And because everyone can have a platform nowadays, you use it as an opportunity to galvanize the troops. Galvanize other guys who were also boys who also were looked over by all of the girls. And now you guys, kumbaya and trauma bond in the name of fighting for masculinity. I'm doing it for guys. I'm empowering guys. Hey, listen, we're good. I promise you we're good. We like women. We get along with women. Women like us. We've had great experiences with women. I promise you that. We're good. You're not doing it for us. You're doing it for guys like you. Again, we're just calling the spade a spade. There are some things that women do that are questionable. We understand that. There are some things that women do that we can look at and we can criticize and talk about. But we got to get to the root of it. And the root is, you were a kid who women didn't like. That's the root. So that's the part that you need to acknowledge. You got to acknowledge that part. Because if you don't acknowledge that part, then everything else is a lie, man. Or it's just pointless. Because you're trying to skip over that part and maintain your vulnerability. But you have to acknowledge that part. We got to call the spade a spade. But cats like me, my guys, we're good. We like women. Just call the spade a spade."
The real reason why you hate women
https://www.instagram.com/p/DTl8GOnic1Y/
Though you don't specifically mention the (Black) Manosphere by name or its derivatives - like the Red Pill, MGTOW, Men's Rights and even Incel communities, it is clear that what you were talking about were some or all of "us" - the Manosphere writ large - and as I said, I thought it appropriate to write this reply. (NOTE: The whole "not naming names" thing isn't very manly either, I'm sad to say - a true irony in light of our discussion, Duke. Helen Andrews goes into much fuller detail in her excellent piece, "The Great Feminization"; it repays close study)
Printing out your words in transcript form and reading them back is interesting; on the one hand, you half-heartedly acknowledge that what we discuss insofar as women are concerned has merit; but on the other, you not only assert that our accurate commentary is rooted in personal pain and resentment of past grievances rooted in rejection by girls when we were little boys. You then add to this that you, and your friends - by which I took it to mean fellow Black men who were also current and former NFL players like yourself - didn't have such problems with women; that you've always been well liked, been welcomed, and had great experiences with them. It seems that while you admit that what we're saying IS legitimate, you not only question our sincerity, but you also kind of lord it over us in the aforementioned ways.
I have to say Duke, that the way you framed your observations and critiques is quite interesting - especially in light of the fact that, as you can clearly see above, you claim to want an honest conversation in good faith. I don't know about you, but where I come from, I was always warned to be careful of what I wished for - that I just might get it.
So, with that said come, let's reason together, shall we?
First, let's get the obvious out of the way: Yes, you're right - those of us in the Black Manosphere, air out our critiques of the behaviors of Black women, that is indeed borne of various difficulties we've had with them. However, I have to note that it is not always rooted in childhood rejection, etc. - it's often as the result of bitter, acrimonious divorces - something that I truly hope and pray never, ever happens to you. While I'm on this point please allow me to congratulate you on your recent nuptials last summer, and wish you nothing but many years of wedded bliss. With that being said however, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that, as a member of the National Football League, you have roughly double the chance of getting divorced than the general population of American men (figures I've seen put it somewhere between 60%-80% for NFL players, vs. 40%-50% for American men overall) - with the leading causes being infidelity, being broke, and the trophy wife syndrome. At any rate, it's not a hugely keen insight to speculate that the Black Manosphere writ large is comprised of Black men who at one time or another, had a less than satisfying experience with a or number of Black women. Fair enough.
But the question becomes, are our grievances warranted? I think the life and times of one of your close friends - Brandon Marshall, who like you, began his NFL career with the Denver Broncos, definitively answers the question. The public record states that his longstanding relationship and marriage to his first wife had its share of ups and downs, culminating in a domestic violence incident in which Marshall was stabbed in the abdomen in 2011(!). As of roughly a year ago, Marshall described himself as a bachelor - suggesting that his marriage had come to an end - and last time I checked appears to be gearing up to jump the broom a second time. Sounds like he's got a lot more in common with my brothers in the Black Manosphere than not.
Indeed, and contrary to your declarations of "we're good!", the evidentiary record says that NFL players are at particular risk for heightened relationship and marital strife; aside from the aforementioned greater divorce risk, former/retired NFL players face a higher risk of being involved in domestic violence (again: Marshall's a case in point), at a rate of 48% vs. 21% for the general American population(!). Additionally, a 2009 report states that within two years of retirement, a mind-boggling 78% of ex-NFL players wind up broke/bankrupt, jobless, or divorced - often, more than one(!). Given that over half of the NFL's current players are Black men, I think it fair to say that the statistics I cited will most likely apply to them - yet another irony in light of your recent video addressing the Black Manosphere. If anything, we have a lot more in common than you'd like to believe.
With all of these facts being the case, I have to say that while you're within your right to question our sincerity, I must question yours as well; aside from what appears to be a growing personal fitness training business and apparel line - salute! - I see little evidence of actual, boots on the ground and hands-on involvement with the Black men you recently excoriated. As someone who has done nothing but boots on the ground work with Black men for the past five years straight, and an unapologetic, outspoken advocate for Black men for more than a decade, I found the performative peacocking on the part of you and other Black men who puff out your chests and proclaim "not to have these problems" to be little more than virtue signaling in Blackface - let's not fool ourselves here Duke, you don't care about these brothers. Because if you did, your actions would reflect that - like mine over the past decade, does. Given the nature of your video - seemingly coming out of nowhere in comparison to your usual Instagram fare - I'm forced to conclude that it was a bit of clickbait, and I don't knock you for that - in the attention economy, that's the name of the game. But since you asked for an honest conversation and to call a spade a spade, please allow me to say that I think you're doing this for the clicks, not to truly build up better men. That's what true leaders do - they build others up, they don't dress them down for the content.
As I said, I'm one of the founders of the Black Manosphere Conclave, and we've come a long way since 2021. Below is a bit of our handiwork - I invite you to join us in Las Vegas, Sep 11-13, 2026 - we could use a man like you to help whip the brothers into shape!
Black Manosphere Conclave 5.0 Miami Highlights Reel - Check It Out!
https://rumble.com/v748oli-black-manosphere-conclave-5.0-miami-highlights-reel-check-it-out.html?e9s=src_v1_cbl%2Csrc_v1_ucp_a
Mumia Obsidian Ali Full Interview At The Black Manosphere Conclave 4.0 Houston 2024!
https://rumble.com/v5fxouc-mumia-obsidian-ali-full-interview-at-the-black-manosphere-conclave-4.0-hous.html?e9s=src_v1_s%2Csrc_v1_s_o&sci=926de7fb-733d-4bd9-8a11-3d7e6e436f97
Black Manosphere Conclave 4.0 Houston 2024 Highlights Reel World Premiere!
https://rumble.com/v5fo7h6-black-manosphere-conclave-4.0-houston-20204-highlights-reel-world-premiere.html?e9s=src_v1_s%2Csrc_v1_s_o&sci=0aac6e04-570e-42e7-a5d0-9aee5f33d572
Black Manosphere 4.0 Houston 2024 Exit Survey Findings: Debunking The Naysayers, Critics & Haters
https://blackmanosphere.com/blogs/news/black-manosphere-4-0-houston-2024-exit-survey-findings-debunking-the-naysayers-critics-haters
Sincerely,
Mumia Obsidian Ali
Chief Brand & Innovations Officer,
Black Manosphere Conclave